I am writing this post so late in my pregnancy because I really wanted to be in the final stretch before I shared my thoughts and thought this might really be helpful for everyone trying to get pregnant but might have concerns or for everyone curious about pregnancy in general. Well let me just tell you, pregnancy is YOUR own journey, it is unlike anyone else’s. It’s not your neighbors journey, it’s not your sister’s, it’s not your best friend’s, its YOURS.
When I first found out I was pregnant I was a worry freak, am I eating the right foods?, will I throw up? will I be nauseous? then I would ask my friends, some said they were vomiting every day, some were nauseous their entire pregnancy, some didn’t even know they were pregnant until like 4 months because they had zero symptoms so you see, we are all different so there is no reason to compare your pregnancy to someone else’s. Also not everyone is going to share their entire medical history with you, some women have back issues so they don’t exercise, some are considered high risk but don’t want to tell you that part, some women swell a ton and some don’t at all. Below I will go over a few things that I hope everyone keeps in mind.
Weight Gain
Such a private topic in my opinion, your weight gain shouldn’t be discussed with everyone, how much you gain a week should be something you share with your provider (ob or midwife), if you gained 40 pounds your entire pregnancy and some gained 25 that doesn’t mean you did something wrong, we are all different and pregnancy affects us in different ways. As a rule of thumb, women who were previously under weight are recommended to gain more weight than women who were previously considered over weight, but again that’s something you discuss with your doctor and it’s something you and your provider track not something you should feel bad about nor something you should ask your friends about.
Swelling
This was a frequently asked question I would get on instagram, whether my feet were swelling whether my foot size increased and to be honest it didn’t. Some even sent me some pretty weird messages about how my feet would go up two sizes and I would panic, I even called my mom crying one night (pregnancy hormones) and I was like “omg mom will my feet get so big that I can’t ever wear my shoes again.” She reminded me that EVERY WOMAN is different and pregnancy affects us differently and to listen to my provider and share my concerns with her and that others should do the same. Which was totally true, every day I would be like Arnel are my feet getting bigger, Arnel are my feet getting swollen, the answer was often no. Then I would get asked by my midwife and the answer was usually no. The reason I didn’t swell was a combination of having low platelets, low iron and being pregnant in the winter when everything pretty much shrivels up any way. Which brings me to the point that when people asked me about whether I was swelling or not, my answer was No but it’s because other things like my blood levels were causing that, my hands and feet were often frozen popsicles, poor blood circulation which was all linked to my anemia and my low platelets. So while I didn’t swell, that doesn’t mean you won’t. I have had friends who had super high blood pressure, had other health concerns and swelled up like watermelons. It doesn’t mean they were unhealthy or had a poor diet, it means pregnancy was affecting them differently.
Skin Concerns
Another popular topic that is everyone’s concern when they get pregnant, I mean it was my concern, I have heard horror stories about pregnancy acne and stretch marks and I would be lying if I told you that it didn’t freak me out. The unknown freaks everyone out, and during pregnancy there is only so much you can control and so many products you are limited to using, you can’t use acne medication or acne face washes because of specifics acids and all sorts of creams have to be avoided like retinol and so much more. So when I got pregnant I would examine my face daily, I would research into every product that I had in my bathroom from face moisturizers to masks to shampoos I just wanted to be safe but at the same time I wanted to be cautious of what I was putting on my face and body. Thankfully I had a few slight break outs my first trimester, yes I cried over them I even felt horrible, I told myself “this will only get worse” but then it got better, I talked to my midwife she said it’s usually hormonal and it’s your body’s way of adjusting to the life it’s creating and the overload of hormones causes break outs. Some women have it their entire pregnancy and some only have it for a short time. I was one of the lucky one’s who didn’t suffer from any horrible acne during pregnancy and I limited my use of products to just a clean face wash and moisturizer and on occasion would use apple cider vinegar as spot treatment on a pimple. But that doesn’t mean that if you get pregnant, you will get horrible acne or that you won’t break out at all, because we are all different and you should always do what’s best for you and you know your body best. Also Malasma, lots of my friends suffered from it during pregnancy and I thought I might too but I didn’t so just keep in mind that what someone else has or had, doesn’t mean you will.
Stretch Marks
Once I found out I was pregnant I was like wait I need to lather up in oils, creams and make sure I avoid stretch marks as much as possible. Arnel and I even had a nightly ritual where he legit would just cover my body in this shea butter and week after week I would be like okay let’s see if I have any stretch marks and thankfully I had none. I am currently measuring over 37 weeks and I just noticed a faint of a stretch mark on my left hip. I also found out that stretch marks were hereditary so if your mother had them, more than likely you will too, but it’s not always the case because again, we are all different. When I really wanted to know how my body would react to pregnancy I would ask my mom because my provider said our pregnancy’s closely mimic those of our mother’s. I have had friends who’s skin just couldn’t handle the growth of a belly and had stretch marks almost instantly regardless of the amount of lotions and oils they used to prevent them. There really is no magic pill or cream, if you found it let me know, but so far it’s all a mystery and our bodies react to pregnancy differently.
Diet
I hate to use the term diet during pregnancy but I am using it loosely, it doesn’t mean you are on an actual diet but this is a way reference food choices during pregnancy. Like many of you know there are certain foods that should be avoided during pregnancy like deli meats, hot dogs, processed meats, smoked salmon, raw fish etc. Luckily I never liked sushi or raw fish although I was a fan of smoked salmon and deli meats because I made paninis all the time and loved smoked salmon on little cucumber sandwiches and still miss them to this day but we only have a few more weeks to go and I can’t wait to make them again. Anywho, I was pretty good about what I can and could not eat, I also used the Ovia app to look into things that were not allowed during pregnancy, they have a neat food look up and you can even search certain cheeses and it will tell you whether it’s safe or not. Personally the first like 4-5 months I looked everything up because I wanted to make sure I wasn’t consuming anything that would hurt the baby. Not every woman is like that, some are more loose with it, some still ate deli meats and were perfectly fine but I always, always always asked my doctor what was okay and what wasn’t okay. People also told me I would crave pickles, let me tell you, I hated pickles before pregnancy and I hated pickles during pregnancy, never ate them never want to try them and never plan on trying them either. What I did love is vinegar, I loved making apple cider vinegar dressing, I loved it with all my salads and I would have a sip in the mornings because it’s good for you (my opinion). I also loved cheese and when I would talk about cheese on my insta stories my phone would be blown up with messages about how I should avoid cheese, so just to clear the air, you can eat PASTEURIZED cheese which is, if you live in the US everything is pasteurized from sour creams to milk to cheeses and everything in between. Yes there are certain cheeses that aren’t but that’s why you look those up but regular cheeses like gouda or swiss, those are fine and PIZZA is safe to eat as well. At the end of the day, you will have different cravings, you will hate certain things, like me, I hated meat, I still hate it sometimes, Arnel will make grilled chicken and on some days I can eat it and some days I want to vomit at the smell of it. It’s just an interesting time during pregnancy which is why we all crave certain foods and we all have our own preferred foods choices during pregnancy. I also stopped drinking soft drinks, not completely but I was consuming so much water (over 70 oz) that I didn’t really want to drink sodas, now yes I would have ginger ale and have a coke every once in a while but it’s not something we bought or was ever on our grocery list. If you want a coca cola alternative they have Zevia which can be found at like target or whole foods and it’s caffeine free and it doesn’t contain high fructose corn syrup nor is it dark colored, it’s clear and has a slight coca cola taste. My favorite is the black cherry, almost tastes like the black cherry coke but not really.
Conclusion
So the point of this blog post is to remind those newly pregnant ladies that your experience is one of a kind and it’s okay to have changes occur to you that none of your friends or co workers or family members may have never had to go through during pregnancy. Don’t freak out and just document your own story, always talk to your provider and always discuss your concerns with them. My experience has been unlike anyone elses and I still have no idea how delivery will go. I can only plan and hope for the best but babies have their own journey too and they decide on their own terms how they want to enter this world and when they enter it so I can spend hours and days reading everyone’s birth story but mine might be completely different and that’s the beauty of it all.
Sorry for the super long post, hope this was helpful!
xoxo
LOH