H&M Maxi Dress, Lace Up Sandals (old, similar here under $60), Cult Gaia Handbag (similar budget friendly version here, under $60 here)
I am excited to open up about my 1 month postpartum experience and hope I can shed some light on a few issues, so here we go! First off, can you believe that it’s been a month since I gave birth? I honestly can’t! The time has flown by but in my head it honestly seems like just yesterday I was in the hospital room anticipating her arrival.
There are so many things I want to update you guys with, things we have struggled with, the talk about “baby blues” and everything in between.
First thing is, as new parents we had no idea what to expect, it’s honestly like filling out a job application for a job you aren’t qualified for and getting hired for it. So there you are, figuring it out as you go, without any experience you are just making things happen little by little. You have your trusty partner who is just an unqualified as you aka dad; and you both tackle this new thing called parenthood and pray to god that your child is well fed, sleeps well and doesn’t cry. So far I think we are doing a pretty good job, but try to keep some sort of routine but with a new born it’s hard to keep a routine because they don’t always want to eat, they sleep a little longer, they throw off the schedule but you just go with the flow and as long as Sofia is happy then we are happy.
The Recovery…
The first few days post partum were rough, I won’t lie nor will I sugar coat it for you. I had two stitches which isn’t much, just a small second degree tear in the most sensitive area. Using the restroom was a little difficult because it stings, so I made sure to drink lots and lots of water because it helps with the stinging. I also just felt like I got hit by a car, my legs were sore and I just actually felt like I ran a marathon too at the same time as being hit by a car (weird combo). With me being in labor for so long (you can read Sofia’s birth story here) it took a number on my body, I was exhausted, tired and just felt like I hurt everywhere. I took my first shower in the hospital where Arnel had to help me because I was just so weak to do it on my own (thank the lord for amazing husbands). Also your uterus is shrinking and you do almost have like a period for 2-3 weeks if not longer. The first 2 weeks are probably the heaviest and the first few days you are for sure wearing a diaper pretty much and then you down grade to a super extra large maxi pad (no tampons allowed). Your new best friend is also motrin and don’t be like me who avoided taking it after leaving the hospital, no ma’am just take it, you will feel so much better.
The Breastfeeding and The Boobs…
Alright this is the hottest topic out there, I have gotten so many questions whether I like my new boobs (don’t ask anyone that unless they tell you themselves). Personally I hated having large breasts to begin with and now that they are even larger, it pains me, literally; my back kills. I was a double D prior to getting pregnant, then during pregnancy they got even larger and then after delivery we are just about to lose it with them on my chest. The first few days after delivery when your milk starts coming in, they swell and get so massive or at least mine did. My veins were legit popping out and it was so extremely painful, I would sit on the bedroom floor and just cry to Arnel. It was genuinely just as painful as my downstairs region was, I couldn’t tell you which was more uncomfortable because they were equally uncomfortable. I would pump and pump because Sofi was having a hard time breastfeeding because they were just massive and so firm, they felt like bricks (no exaggeration what so ever). And with pumping only little droplets would come out and I would continue to just pump even though it hurt so bad, I would just cry as I pumped and barely got a spoonful of milk out. The thought pains me no joke, but after about a week, the firmness decreased and I continued to just pump and pump. We bottle fed her using my breast milk because every time I breastfed her I would become hysterical after, I would cry and the first few times I almost felt violated. It was the weirdest feeling, something I can’t even explain but I forced myself to do it because isn’t that what I am suppose to do as a new mom, breastfeed my child give her the boob? Not exactly, if you are having a weird emotional reaction then you need to recognize it and you need to stop and you need to speak up about it. After a few times, I told Arnel I can’t do this, every time I try to nurse her I become so emotional and so sad and so depressed and I don’t want to feel like that, Sofi wants a happy mom not a sad, crying mom. So I continued to pump and bottle feed her and we got into a routine with that and it worked for us. I did see a lactation consultant so anyone who flooded my dms about how I need to see one I did and she suggested that I pump, anything that makes a woman sad or depressed she needs to stop, it’s not healthy for her or for the baby. Pumping didn’t make me feel as sad or depressed, I do break out from anxiety hives here and there but I am hoping it gets better with time. I was also getting sad because everyone is sharing how they are breastfeeding and I just felt like I wasn’t a good enough mother because Sofi wasn’t given the boob so I tried again and we did it for about a day or two and then the same feelings came back and I knew then that pumping is the best route for me and that’s what I have been doing and am super thankful that I kept pumping and that I produce plenty of breastmilk to give to her and to save some for later on down the road. I can’t explain my anxiety or why I get it, I never even knew that women experienced it or maybe women do but no one talks about it because they are ashamed or feel like they are going to be judged. But anywho I wanted to share that little bit of experience with you all because there might be someone out there struggling or experiencing the exact same thing I am; just know you are not alone and whatever you choose, your baby wants you to be happy, don’t feel guilty.
Baby Blues…
You thought crying during your period was bad, just imagine that but like 10 times worse! There were random things that I would cry about, when Sofi would cry I would cry, when she wouldn’t feed I would cry, looking in the mirror made me cry, putting on old clothes that didn’t fit made me cry, it’s just an overall emotional roller coaster after delivering a baby. The lack of sleep will get to you, I mean honestly all sorts of things end up bothering you or hurting your feelings. The first 2 weeks were probably the worst, now that Sofi is a month old the crying has definitely faded off but there are still moments where I get emotional. It definitely gets better with time, or at least with me it did. Talking it out with Arnel helped a ton, anytime I would feel a rush of emotions coming on I would just go to him and he would hold me while I cried it all out.
Weight Loss…
Anyone who has known me knows that I have pretty much been the same weight since college, I have fluctuated a few pounds here and there but have been in the same range since I was 18. I have always eaten pretty healthy and always enjoyed eating good nutritious food. Yes I eat cookies, I love sweets but everything in moderation of course. Well when I got pregnant you have to accept that your body will go through changes and as much as I am a control freak there are things there were more important like the health of my baby so yes I indulged in things way more than I would have, had I not been pregnant. I gained about 40 pounds during my pregnancy. I did work out and went to barre class pretty regularly until about week 33 when my back was giving out and when we had a little baby scare so I was advised to not go so hard, so we stuck to just walking for the remaining weeks of my pregnancy. I have about 13 pounds to lose and these 13-15 pounds will be the hardest I know it but that’s okay we will get there eventually. I am trying to just eat super clean, lots of water and trying not to be so hard on myself. I know summer is right around the corner and I am dying to get into some shorts and skirts but lets hold off on that. I do have my OB appointment this coming up week where the OB can officially say I can work out, YAYYY. Looking forward to starting BBG again and getting back to my barre classes.
Most Importantly…
The most important thing that I have learned in the last month is that I have a new purpose, a new meaning in life, that I am a mom and that I feel needed more than ever before. There is a tiny little human that depends on me, loves me unconditionally and makes me a better human each and every day. I seriously can’t help but be so thankful for my sweet little Sofia. Arnel and I are obsessed with her even when we sneak away to do a photoshoot we just talk about her and how much we miss her. When she naps too long we look forward to her waking up so we can snuggle with her and just kiss on her. Happy 1 Month to our sweet little Sofi bear.
With All That Said…
It’s also super important to get out of the house, go out for a walk, get fresh air, let others help out with the baby whether it’s changing the diaper, watching them so you can take a quick nap, every little bit helps a ton and I accepted all the help I could get especially from Arnel and my mother in law. It’s important to keep yourself healthy mentally and physically so that you can be the best mother to your little one.
If you ever need someone to talk to or just someone to vent to, always feel free to send me a dm or you can always email me at helloitsloh@gmail.com.
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xoxo
LOH